The Fuckery That Is Bella's Life
by SilentTwilight-TM
Summary: What happens when a broken-hearted Bella is changed by Victoria two days after Edward leaves her? A completely changed Bella is what happens. If you were not pleased with Bella running back to Edward in New Moon, then this is the story for you.
1. New Readers Please Read This!

Hey guys!

So, before you read this story I have something to let you know. Don't worry you're not in trouble. Its just that last year I started this story and due to RL I took a break from it, and now that I'm looking back at it, I see a lot of childish/annoying grammar in it. The grammar is really bad only in the authors notes. I really do hope that the horrible author's note does not stop you from reading this story. I can promise you that the writing got better. All I needed was some time to let my grammar mature. please enjoy and dont forget to leave a review!

Lots of angry vampire kisses, SilentTwilight-TM 


	2. I'm Back Bitches

A/N: Heyy ppl! What goes on? Lol this is mah 2nd fan fic so I would like a pat on my back (cyber pat tho. I dun want no random ppl in mah house..no offence). Any ways this is an Idea tht is stuck in my head, nd it wont let me write another chapter for my other fan fic (Facebook and Mns Twilight Style! Go check it out!) So I'm gonna juss post this nd see where I go w. This cause honestly , I (once again) don't know whaa im doing. :P So.. Enjoy! Btw: this is the preface so don't skim it kayy!

Disclaimer: I...umm...I...IDontOwnTwilight. *Tear*

Bella/Audrey POV

It's been 97 years since I last saw that Son of A Bitch. 97 fucking years. A lot has changed during 97 years, for example: 2 days after that little fucker left me, a certain red-head came for me. Can you guess who? Yep, It was Victoria. Mmhmm and you tell me, where were the Cullen's when I needed them huh? Not there! That's where! Back to my story...

_~~Beginning of Flashback~~_

_Ever since Edw-he left, I always went to our meadow. It somehow soothes me in a weird, twisted way. Why you ask? Well I always think that Edw-he would come back for me, and we would meet in the meadow. _

_Anyways, as I layed in the middle of the meadow, I heard a twig snap and dead leaves crunching. I immediately stood up. 'OhmyGod! He's coming back for me! He really is!' I thought excitedly. Little did I know, It wasn't him. It was the one person I feared the most. Victoria._

"_Well well well. If it isn't my favourite human! Hello Bella. Are you ready to die? 'Cause I know I'm ready to taste your amazingly delicious blood flowing into my mouth." Victoria said threateningly as she walked closer to me. For a minute, I was actually scared. But then I realized, why should I live if my loved one doesn't want me? So I calmly and happily replied "Yes." With a soft smile on my face knowing that this pain would end soon._

_One minute of awkward silence passed. "Victoria, I thought you were going to kill me." I asked. "Oh, well I'm just waiting for your Eddie-kins to come so he can watch me kill you. This brings me to ask you. Where is he?" Victoria asked confused. _

"_He left me." I said with no trace of any emotions in my voice. "Oh really now?" She purred. "Well then, if I'm damned to be on the earth alone... then so are you!" She said as she crouched down and pounced on me; sinking in her teeth into my jugular. _

_~~End of Flashback~~_

So there you have it folks, my last human memory. Anyways, in case your wondering, I drink HUMAN blood. I mean, why should I drink animal blood? It doesn't even taste _that _good. And it's what the _Cullens_ would want me to do. And I don't want to do **anything **that reminds me of _them_.

Oh! In case you're wondering, I have a gift. What is it? I am a sponge. Yup, I basically absorb the gifts of other vampires. And so far I have absorbed: The ability to change my physical appearance, I have all of the Volturi's gifts, I can tell if you're lying or not, Electricity, I can guess your gift before absorbing it ect. The only gifts I don't have is mind reading and future-telling...but I don't need that...I think.

I changed my name too. I think that _Isabella Marie Swan_ is a soft sensitive little baby. Now I am Audrey Elizabeth Boleyn. A strong, angsty, confident woman.

I know what you are wondering, _'Why Boleyn?'. _Well It's all because of a certain young lady named Anne Boleyn. To summarize it for ya ('cause I know that if I type it out, you guys will skim it.) She was a Bad-Ass and I admire her for it. So in honour of Anne, I changed my surname into Boleyn and I stole her old necklace (I'll try to find it online and post it on my wall) and now I wear it.

Hmm... what else am I forgetting to tell you? Oh I know! I almost forgot to tell you how pretty I am! Oh my gosh! I am SOO pretty that I put Rosalie to shame. And that's saying something!

I have long Brownish-Black hair that's voluptuous and slightly wavy and stops around my waist. My eye lashes are long, thick and curled perfectly. So perfectly, that it looks like I put on fake eye lashes. My beautiful eye lashes outline my big, gorgeous, scarlet red eyes amazingly! And my lips are so plump and kissable, that even I want to kiss them. And that's saying something!

When I was a human, I was 5'4" but now for reasons unknown I am a staggering 5'9". I use to hate my long legs but now I _absolutely adore _showing off my long, smooth, cold legs.

Oh and remember how I used to wear baggy sweaters and whatnot? Well now I dress the exact opposite. Meaning that I love to wear shorts, high heels (shocking, I know), short dresses ect. You would/could say that my wardrobe would impress that annoying little goblin. Urgg! How I absolutely LOATH HER!

So I guess you could see how I attract my food. ;) It's so much fun to watch my food scream and try to attack me while I drain them of their own blood! Why? Because I have a tendency to imagine that I'm killing Edward...or the Cullen's...but mainly Edward...That fucking little cunt...

Moving along once more...(sorry for getting carried away too much) Over the past 97 years, I moved from city to city. But for now, I settled down in a little city called Brookswood, British Columbia.

It's a nice city. Small, quiet, calm, and unsuspecting...Muhuhahahaa!...I'm sorry that was weird. But I guess that happens to you when you're alone for 97 years.

Anywho, as I was unpacking stuff into my new mansion (When I kill the human, I steal all of their money. Oh come on. It's not like they're going to use it anytime soon.) I decided to go to the local clubs and see if they have any good snacks there.

I put on my strapless v-cut blue dress with a black velvet band around my waist, heart-shaped diamond earrings, my Boleyn necklace, black pumps and a soft pink ring. (The clothing/accessories is on my profile page)

As I was driving, I saw this fancy looking club called 'Midnight Sun'. So I decided to give my white Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 Versace to one of those boys who park your car for you and walked straight into the club.

As I sat down at one of the bar stools, I noticed this young man. He looked like he was 23-ish, he had shaggy medium brown hair and big blue eyes. I decided that he was going to be my 'welcome to Brookswood' meal. My lips curled up slightly at the thought of it.

"Hey there handsome. How are you doing tonight?" I purred at him. "I, uh...I'm d-doing great. Y-y-you?" He stuttered. 'Aww, Poor thing' I thought to myself. 'It's a shame that I'm going to kill him soon...Oh well.' "Oh God. It's SO hot in here," I said while fanning myself "Can you come with me outside please?" I asked seductively. "Yeah s-sure" He quickly replied.

Once we got to the back of the club, I said "You know, it was nice meeting you. But now it's time for you to die." I said as I slammed him against the brick wall and sank my dagger-like teeth into his soft flesh.

When I finished with him, I threw him deep into a dumpster a couple of streets away. But as I was walking back to the club, I felt someone following me. So I kept walking. After 10 seconds, I immediately turned around and what I saw put me in complete shock.

They were here.


	3. We Meet Again

**A/N: Heyy Heyy! I'm back! Did ya miss me? LOL once more, thanks for the compliments...buh I have a prob. I need someone to help me for when school starts (Sept.7 for me). If anybody wants to pitch in and help me, pm me. Then I'll tell you how I want things to go and then we can work our way from dere, If not then I will end up posting like...Twice a month (if you get lucky). Anywho's, here's the next chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

**Previously On: The Fuckery That Is Bella's Life... **

_When I finished with him, I threw him deep into a dumpster a couple of streets away. But as I was walking back to the club, I felt someone following me. So I kept walking. After 10 seconds, I immediately turned around and what I saw put me in complete shock._

_They were here._

**Audrey's POV**

_Damn,  
Ain't it crazy  
When you're loveswept?  
You'll do anything  
For the one you love.  
'Cause anytime  
That you needed me  
I'd be there.  
It's like  
You were my favourite drug.  
The only problem is  
That you was using me.  
In a different way  
That I was using you.  
But now that I know  
That it's not meant to be.  
You gotta go  
I gotta wean myself off of you._

_Rehab by Rihanna._

I couldn't believe my eyes. They were here. _He _was here. I fell into panic mode. 'Oh damn. Why are they here? Out of all places in this humongous earth, they choose here, Brookswood BC. Why cruel fate? WHYYYY?' I thought angrily.

"B-Bella? Bella is that you? OhmyGod! Bella it is you! Bella I missed you SOO much! Ohmygosh! You look SOO pretty!" Alice Squealed as she ran to hug me. "See Edward I told yo-" Alice said before she screeched in agonizing pain. (**A/N: just to let you guys know, Alice didn't get to hug Audrey because Audrey put her in pain before she could reach Audrey.)**

Emmett yelled "BELLA STOP! PLEASE! STOP!" I sighed loudly, rolled my eyes and slowly stopped. Making sure she stayed in pain the whole time. "Whoa-pant-what the–pant-hell-pant-was that-pant? Alice said tiredly and confused.

"That my dear, was one of my many gifts." I sneered.

That's when Rosalie mused "Bella, would you please come home with us? Carlisle would love to know how you were changed. And Esme would be more than glad to see you again. She-as well as everyone else-would be glad to have your where you belong, with us at home."

Was she serious? Was she _really _serious? Damn. This girl is **STUPID! **Did she not see that I put her _sister_ in pain. If I put her in pain why the hell would I go to their house? Blondie's these days...

"Because we need you Bella. We really do. _I_ really do. Bella, without you, our family fell apart. I'm so sorry Bella. Please forgive us?" Edward begged.

Holy shit! I said that out loud! "Yep. you did alright." Emmett said with a smirk. Note to self: Stop thinking near the Cullen's.

Ignoring the urge to punch Emmett in the face, I yelled "Never in a million years will I ever forgive you! After all the pain you put me through, you don't even _deserve_ to look at me! Let alone ask to be forgiven! You people _disgust me_. By the way, my name isn't Bella anymore. It's Audrey. Audrey Elizabeth Boleyn. So get that through your ugly-ass heads okay?"

"Be-Audrey, can we please discuss this somewhere more private?" Edward said with crystal clear pain in his voice. "Did you not just hear my rant! You stupid little boy?" I snapped.

Edward winced and looked down. Good. I turned around and started to sprint home. As I was running I realized that I left my car at the club. 'Meh whatever. I'll get it tomorrow.' I internally answered myself.

**Alice's POV**

After that disaster meeting with Audrey (ALL THANKS TO EDWARD! Damn Edward and his stupid-ness! Damn it to HELL!) , we all ran back home silently. Once we got home we called a family meeting.

"Now what seems to be the problem?" Carlisle asked calmly. "We bumped into Bella-or Audrey since she likes to be called that- just now." Rosalie answered glumly. " I thought Bella was dead! Where is she? I miss her so much!" Esme said; her voice filled with shock and happiness. "She absolutely _loathes _us. All thanks to Edward!" I growled.

Edward simply put his head down in shame and said "I didn't know she would be alive AND hate us okay." Aww I feel bad for Edward now... Oh well it is his fault. "Alice, why couldn't you have seen Bella before?" Esme asked confused and hurt. "I don't know Esme.." I replied sadly.

"Wait a minute!" Emmett said shocking himself as he said it. Maybe he's onto something that's actually useful for once... "Didn't Bella say something about having many gifts?"

"She did after she released Alice from her pain." Edward said emotionless.

Hmm... now that I think about it...

_~~ Beginning of Flashback~~_

_Emmett yelled "BELLA STOP! PLEASE! STOP!" As I convulsed and screamed as I was forced into un-earthly pains to painful to even describe. I heard her sigh loudly, roll her eyes and felt the pain slowly disappear. Making sure that I stayed in pain the whole time. _

_"Whoa-pant-what the–pant-hell-pant-was that-pant?__I said tiredly and confused._

_ "That my dear, was one of my many gifts." She sneered._

_~~ End of Flashback~~_

"Hmm.. Maybe she has a gift that helps her block other gifts from working on her. A shield perhaps..." Carlisle mused.

"I guess she does. But that doesn't answer our problem." Rosalie said, "How are we going to get Bella back?"

"We will fight for her. I will fight through tooth and nail if I have to, just to get her back. I promise." Edward said. His voice filled with an emotion I thought I would never hear again; confidence.

I have a feeling that this is just the beginning of a very long war.

**A/N: So... How did you guys feel about it? What do you want to happen? I would LOVE to know. *I'm not being sarcastic in case you are wondering.*** **Well, you know the drill. Make my day by clicking the glorious review button and leave a review for me! Please and tank you! BTW: Who's POV should I do next?**

**Lots of Love,**

**Jacobsbbygyal.**


	4. The End Shall Officially Begin

__

__

**A/N:**** Wow thank you for the reviews- every single one of them are great... :))))) I do not own Twilight.. huge shoutout to all that have reviewed both mine and Jacobsbbygyal story. This was all her idea and well I just wanna say thanks to her and I have a special thank you to one of my reviewers KeyKeysagalover4eva your review. It made me laugh so I am going to include it into this chapter some how. Now before you bitch and say that Bella is way too OOC, this girl is one pissed off vampire and for this reason it is rated M so if you are uander age do not read...  
**

_I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off the grouand  
And I'm hearing what you say  
But I just can't make a souand  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn arouand and say  
That it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
_  
_- Apologize-Timberland feat One Republic_

**Previously On: The Fuckery That Is Bella's Life...**

_"Hmm.. Maybe she has a gift that helps her block other gifts from working on her. A shield perhaps..." Carlisle mused.  
"I guess she does. But that doesn't answer our problem." Rosalie said, "How are we going to get Bella back?"  
"We will fight for her. I will fight through tooth and nail if I have to, just to get her back. I promise." Edward said. His voice filled with an emotion I thoughught I would never hear again; confidence.  
I have a feeling that this is just the beginning of a very long war.  
_

**Audrey's POV.****  
**

Why the fuck did they have to return? More than that what the fuck were they all on? If vampires could get high then The Cullen's were fine examples of it.

I mean if they all did not listen to Fuckward and leave me alone I may have talked to them. Heck I may have even talked to them and go play happy family with them.

But they were 97 years too late.

It took all I had not to burst out laughing at Alice and Rosalie when they said that they wanted me to go back with them to their house.

I have too many powers to know what to do but I needed to know what the Cullen's were up to so I looked into their present... yes their present not the future like the pixie can do. You see I can do all three; I can look into the past, look into the present and look to the future.

When I looked into what they were planning I struggled to keep myself upright. They were all having a family meeting and I came into it just a bit too late.

"Hmm.. Maybe she has a gift that helps her block other gifts from working on her. A shield perhaps..."

__

Carlisle mused. _Well guessed there Carlisle, that is my main talent._

"I guess she does. But that doesn't answer our problem." Rosalie said, "How are we going to get Bella back?" Rosalie wondered out loud.

__

_You think I want to go back to you... dream on Bloandie. Dream on._

"We will fight for her. I will fight through tooth and nail if I have to, just to get her back. I promise." Edward said. His voice filled with confidence.

__

_What the fuck?_

This surprised me, but when I looked into the future I had to laugh at what they were planning on doing... one of the ideas was to kidnap me and make me listen to them. Did they not realise that I could beat them all so easily... I made the God of War look like my little minion... However, the more I got to thinking about this idea, the more I started to like it. What better way to make their lives a living nightmare than to live with them.

**Alice's POV  
**

They were all driving me crazy with their numerous attempts on how to get Bella back! I mean I know that I love Bella like a sister with everything that I have, but they should not be doing this. Not all of them and especially not me or Edward. When we left all 97 years ago, it would have been us leaving that would have hurt Bella the most. In the middle of my ranting, I was sucked into a vision... When I came back out of it I was smiling.

"It looks like Bella is coming to live with us" I said and everybody's faces lit up.  
"What made her change her miand?" Carlisle asked  
"We don't know. All we saw was Bella coming to live with us" Edward said with a big smile on his face.

Why do I think that the smile will be knocked off his face and soon?

**Emmett's POV  
**

Yeah! My little sis is coming back home! After all these years I get her back! Before we left only me and Alice (surprisingly) were the only two that put up an argument to stay. Then we heard that Bella had died, not long after we left. So not only were we grieving for Bella, we were also having to stop Edward from pulling a Romeo on us. I did not want to stop him, I knew that if it was me I would not want to live withoughut my Rose. But he was our brother, and as selfish as it is, we need love and need him.

After a while the emotions that we were emitting were too much for Jasper. So he left and went to live with Peter and Charlotte in Austin, Texas. I mean him and Alice were still together but he could not get over his guilt and then you add everybody else's to it as well you can see how bad it was for him...

After a while we were still waiting for Bella to come, I brought up Jasper. "When are we going to get Jazz" I asked mainly Alice but also everybody else. What I did not expect was the look that came across both of their faces.

"We aren't going for him, Bella is" Edward said looking like someone had killed his puppy. Well if he could have one withoughut eating it first.  
"Now is not the time to be making jokes Emmett" he hissed.

And then, we heard a soft yet hard knock on the door.

My little sister has arrived.

__

**Recommendations**:-

**Angelo Di Nerezza By ADORKable-Rob: it's about Edward leaving Bella and the Volturi came for her and found her and her and made a vamp and now she hates Edward with a passion/  
**

**BloodFlowers By Sihouetics: Bella and Edward are in the hospital because they had traumatizing pasts. They slowly fall in love though, but there is SOO much drama , I love it , you should read it  
**

**Edroar the Angry Lion By Tropical Sorbet: Edward is an angry CEO of a book publishing corp. and Bella is his masseuse who has a tendency to talk back. It's real good.  
**

**Married to The Enemy By Gelix: Edward picked on Bella at high school and they end up getting married in Vegas...  
**

**Like a moth to a flame By CitizenCullen25: Mobward enough said...  
**

**Everclear by Chandler1200: Bella is in a band... 5 years after New Moon**

**Check out these stories! They r real good! Oh nd remember, I f we don't get at least 7 reviews...then we don't update!**


	5. Payback's A Bitch

**A/N:**** Heeyyy muchacha's ! whaa goes on ? Lucky yuh guys I dun have much to say todaii except for the fact that I'm SOO grateful for having ECISLove2010 helping me out with this fanfiction ! So once more... Thankss! Oh nd If yuh guys reeeaaaallllyyyy love me.. yuh would promo my fanfic on yur pages AND review !**

**Now on to the story!**

**Previously on The Fuckery That Is Bella's Life:**

_"We aren't going for him, Bella is" Edward said looking like someone had killed his puppy. Well if he could have one without eating it first.  
"Now is not the time to be making jokes Emmett" he hissed._

And then, we heard a soft yet hard knock on the door.

_My little sister has arrived._

_Next time  
There will be no next time  
I apologize  
Even though I know it's lies  
I'm tired of the games  
I just want her back  
I know I'm a liar  
If she ever tries to fucking leave again  
I'ma tie her to the bed  
And set the house on fire_

Just gonna stand there  
And watch me burn  
But that's alright  
Because I like  
The way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there  
And hear me cry  
But that's alright  
Because I love  
The way you lie  
I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie

_Eminem Ft. Rihanna _

_ Love the Way You Lie_

**Audrey's POV**

As I parked my car on their driveway, I couldn't help but smile at all the trouble I was going to make. 'Now they will realize that leaving me was a HUGE mistake' I thought evilly. I got out my car and walked up the steps to their house. 'Hmm.. It looks the same way it did in Forks' I mused about their house. I took a deep breath and knocked on their door. I was expecting Carlisle to answer but it was Alice who came running to the door. I guess she forgot about what had happened recently...

"Bella! What brings you here?" Alice asked as she jumped around where she was standing. "You already know why pixie." I said with a hint of attitude "Now let me in or I'm leaving."

"Oh, sorry Bella." Alice quickly apologized. I straightened my posture and walked to their dining room where the rest of their family is. Oh great.

"Hello Bella! It's so nice to see you again. We missed you terribly." Esme said as she got up and tried to hug me. "Esme DONT! If you hug her then she will burn up your insides!" Emmett Yelled. Hm, It looks like he got a bit smarter..

Esme stopped moving and went back to her seat with a big frown plastered onto her face. "Oh well. I didn't tell you to leave now did I?" I said to her.

"Bella please sit." Carlisle asked. I sat down beside Emmett and Carlisle said "So Bella, Alice has told us that you want to move in with us. Is that true?" "Yes. But under conditions of course." I replied.

"_Conditions?_ _You_'re the one who wants to live with _us_." Emmett said with a shocked expression in this face and tone. "Emmett. Shut up. Now." Edward growled.

Carlisle cleared his throat and asked me "And what conditions are they?"

"Well for a first. My name is Audrey okay? Do NOT call me Bella. Second, I get my own room that will be far away from you guys. Who here has the farthest room?" I asked. "I do." Edward replied. "Well it's not yours anymore." I said happily.

My face fell when I realized that I was going to have to spend time with Edward since I was taking his room 'Yay. I get to spend time with Edward. Oh what a joy."

Edwards face immediately shined the minute he realized that we were going to have to spend time together. _Dream on buddy. _

"Moving along, I don't want anybody to bother me. Especially Alice. Emphasis on Alice." Alice giggled as I said that. Stupid pixie... "And I will not change the fact that I drink human blood. Which brings me to my next condition, I will hunt any day, anytime, anywhere. Got it? That's it for now."

"What a diva" Rosalie mumbled. "Aw. is the poor baby Rosy getting afraid that somebody is going to take her role as being the number one Diva-Bitch?" I asked in fake sadness.

Rosalie just kept her head down.

'Damn right mother fucker' I thought happily.

Carlisle replied "Okay Be-Audrey. We will agree. BUT we have some rules that you need to follow. Firstly, If you would at least try some animal blood. It's not that bad. I would appreciate if you tried for Jasper sinc-" "Nope thats not happening. I refuse. You cannot make me. And I will be fine to go back to being alone. Besides, I don't see any Jasper around here"

He sighed and sadly gave in "Fine don't drink if you don't want to. And jasper is living with his old friends at the moment but we will be coming back. Am I right Alice?"

"Yes, he will be here in three days!" Alice said bubbling with happiness at the mere thought of it. 'Great another one.' I thought.

"I have only one rule then. When you go out to...feed. One of us has to go with you." He said with a voice that is telling me that I can't say no to this rule.

"Fine. Is that all?" I asked.

"For now, yes." He said with a smile on his face "Welcome to the family Audrey"I rolled my eyes and said "Yeah whatever. I'm going to get my bags." Emmett said "Edward and I will help you with them."I shrugged my arms and got up and left.

**Edward's POV**

I can't believe that she's actually here! My Bella is here! I mean Audrey. My Audrey is here! I missed her so much! I'm going to show her that this time that I will not repeat what I did to her ever again. As if Emmett heard what I was thinking he warned me via his head 'You better not.'

We both got into Audrey's car. "Nice car." Emmett said as he tried to make conversation with her. "Thanks she muttered back. Fail.

"So Audrey, Why did you change your name?" I asked my love. She replied with no tone in her voice "Because stupid, clumsy, weak, sensitive, ugly Bella is dead." "Well we liked the old Bella a lot. She was so much fun to be around." Emmett said. "Oh well. If you want her, then go to forks cemetery and look there." She replied coldly.

"We're here. Get out." She commanded angrily. We got out of her car and went into her beautiful mini-mansion for a lack of better words. It was white and had a grey roof. A window on the roof, four windows with a balcony just under it, and another for windows. There were vines of red roses growing on the balcony bars and bushes of exotic flowers all round the house.

Emmett and I were staring at the house with our mouths open looking like the idiots we-well he- is. "Are you guys coming in or not?" Audrey asked angrily but has a smirk on her face and a hand on her hip. She's so beautiful.

Emmett replied on the behalf of both of us "Oh... umm... yeah. we are coming just now." He pulled my arm and quickly walked in. I, on the other hand was still gawking at Audrey's beauty. I just turned around to find out that I was dragged through the wall.

"You guys are going to fix that." Audrey giggled but you could still noticed that she was angry. "S-su-sure t-thing" I stuttered.

'Aw. Little Eddie has a crush!' Emmett thought. I stepped on his foot with my heel. This made him yell out and knock over a bunch of boxes.

"YOU IDIOTS! STOP FUCKING JOKING AROUND AND FUCKING HELP ME! THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT YOU FUCKTARDS HERE!" Audrey screeched at us.

This is going to be a long night.

**Audrey's POV**

After 3 long-ass hours of yelling at Edward and Emmett, we finally moved all of my stuff into the house. Now I need to help Edward move all of his stuff out. Why you ask? Because he purposely took like an hour just to put 10 books into 1 box! So I growled at him while he smirked back at me and started to pack up his things.

Just as we were finishing up I noticed something "Edward. What is this?" I asked him while holding a dark emerald leather book that said in black cursive 'Property of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.' Damn this kid rights in a diary. Faaaiiiillllll.

"Oh that? That's my" "Diary?" I asked. "No it's my" "Man diary?" I asked again. "No It's my" "Journal where you write down all your secrets?" "NO AUDREY IT'S MY MUSIC BOOK!" He yelled. It was my turn to smirk this time. "Do you keep any secrets in there?" I asked innocently "NO AUDREY I DO NOT KEEP ANY SECRETS IN THERE." He growled back at me. "Well then, you should've just said that." I said calmly as I picked up three boxes and strutted out of the room.

An hour later, We were done. Together we put away all of Edwards stuff in his room and mine in-now-my room. We laughed and joked around. It felt nice to joke around but play time is over. I did not move into this house just to fall back in love with Edward. He's the reason I'm doing this. And I can't let his stupid charm get to me. It's time to start part 2 of operation get back at Edward without falling in love with him.

All I know is that the Cullen's created a monster.

And her name is Audrey Elizabeth Boleyn.

**A/N:**** You know the drill. I need at least 7 reviews... promote my fanfic plz...blah blah blah. Buh seriously help a nigga out by promoting and reviewing!**

**Recommendations:-**

**Hate Me » by xrxdanixrx  
Awkward Bella only had a crush on one guy, known for stringing girls along. When he rejected Bella's advances, her world flipped inside out. Years later, she's now the female version of the catalyst that changed her life. And it's her turn for payback. AH**

**Beyond Time » by TKegl  
After the Cullens leave Forks, a twist of fate lands Bella in Chicago in 1918. She thinks it's a second chance to build a life with Edward, but when she finds him, he's not quite what she expected. Can Bella create the future she's hoping for?**

**Grace born of heartbreak Lily Cullen= This story is on Twilighted**

Ten years.

Ten years have passed since Edward left Bella that day in the woods. He doesn't know what happened to her. He doesn't know if she's happy. He doesn't know if she's had the life that he intended for her.

Alice has developed a new talent closely related to her precognition, and she finally prevails upon Edward to check up on Bella, for her and Esme's sake if nothing else.

And what they see will destroy the fragile peace that Edward has lived in for the past decade.

(Note: this is most definitely not a Bella/Jacob story. In fact, it is at its heart a Bella/Edward story.)  
Very very sad!

**If Edward Was Gay by random jiberish**

**Based on the song 'If scar was gay' on youtube but is about Edward. This is before bella. One shot**

**Vermillion by silhouetics **Sequel to BloodFlowers** **

**I Can Make Your Blood Clot by Duck Life**

**Remix of Young Money's 'Bedrock' .**


	6. Weight Of The World

**A/N**** Hiiiii! Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter... You guys were awesome... this chapter is depressing yes but I thought it would be a good idea to get into the head of the one the only Jasper Whitlock to see what he thinks. I do not own Twilight.**

**Previously on: The Fuckery That is Bella's Life.**

_An hour later, We were done. Together we put away all of Edwards stuff in his room and mine in-now-my room. We laughed and joked around. It felt nice to joke around but play time is over. I did not move into this house just to fall back in love with Edward. He's the reason I'm doing this. And I can't let his stupid charm get to me. It's time to start part 2 of operation get back at Edward without falling in love with him._  
_All I know is that the Cullen's created a monster._  
_And her name is Audrey Elizabeth Boleyn._

_Feels like the weight of the world  
Like God in heaven gave me a turn  
Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you  
Still in the dark, can you fix me?_

Free fall, free fall, all through life

If you love me then let go of me  
I won't be held down by who I used to be  
She's nothing to me

_Evanescense-Weight of the World_

**Jasper's POV**

97 years. It has been 97 long years since I took a snap at my brother's human girlfriend. Of course nobody par Edward blamed me to my face but their emotions said something different. Never once did any of them blame themselves. Nope they must have forgotten the fact that I was an empath and could feel all of their blood lusts. Even Carlisle though he got his under control pretty quickly.

After we all left Forks we moved back to Alaska but Edward moved again a few days later claiming that "it was too hard for him" to be around the family. He came back a few years later though. When he did come back, Alice begged and begged him if she could look into Bella's future and he finally said yes. We were all on tenterhooks waiting to see what she was doing now.

Frustration

That is all I could feel from Edward and Alice. When asked why they were feeling that way, all we got as that "they could not see her".

Shock

It was pouring off all of us. So we did the next best thing, we phoned up Bella's house in Forks and hoped and prayed that Bella was ok.

Disbelief

That was the next emotion after Alice had hung up after told "to fuck off you ugly piece of shit". We did not know who it was but we knew it would be a bad idea to go to Forks anytime soon.

Regret

Finally someone had the common sense to go on the internet to check newspaper reports, check Facebook to see if she had an account etc. What we found shocked and made us all feel sick. Bella had gone missing not long after we had left Forks. In fact it was only two days after Edward had left. She had been presumed dead as nobody had ever been found.

Hope

Hope that Bella was not dead and that she was now one of us. Blood was found and remains of her clothes were found but that was it. For 20 years this went on. Edward searched the globe for Bella but never found her.

Guilt

It was so damn thick. I could feel it from everybody and it was making me squirm and as it was my entire fault I sucked it up for 45 years until one day I had enough.

This took us to 68 years after leaving Bella and I could not cope anymore. I packed my bags up that day and moved in with my friends Peter and Charlotte. Peter and Charlotte were both sired by me during my time before I met Alice and The Cullen's. Basically the time I was with that bitch Maria.

While with Charlotte and Peter, they talked about a girl who was a vampire like us. She went by the name of Audrey and she had stayed with them for a while. Got into a ton of trouble as well but they both loved her like a sister so I could not wait to meet this Audrey person.

This leads me to today and me actually meeting Audrey or should I say Bella Swan. It started off like any other day. I mope around the house while Charlotte and Peter would try and cheer me up. But all this changed when I got a phone call from my Alice.

"Jazz!" Alice spoke to me and she sounded so happy, I could not understand why. "You have to come back home now, Bella is here just like we thought all them years ago." For the first time in so many years I felt hope I would be able to make it up to Bella and my family. I hardly heard Alice say that Bella drunk human blood and would not change her diet however I did hear the one thing that shocked me Bella was now known as Audrey. Audrey as in Peter and Charlotte's Audrey... Bella and I will be having words.

All the way up to The Cullen's house I was thinking about Bella-well Audrey-and what I had learned from Peter and Charlotte. By the sounds of it she was turned by Victoria as a revenge sort of thing. As all they could get out of Bella was that it was a "mate for mate" thing.

When I finally arrived at The Cullen's well my house I was grabbed by Esme and Alice and they both made me promise to never leave again. It reminded me of the time that Edward ran from Bella when she first arrived in Forks. I was grabbed by Emmett and Rosalie next. Rosalie hit me around the head and yelled at me for been so damn stupid. Carlisle came next and said "welcome home son". Edward nodded his head at me. The relationship between us was going to take a hella lot to repair.

Before I can say hello to Bella or should I say Audrey she speaks to me... "Hello Major, I have heard so much about you." Audrey said with a soft smile on her lips.

"Touché Audrey, touché."I replied with a smirk

Before we can get anywhere closer Edward roared "SHE DID WHAT!"

Shit!

He read my mind.

**A/N:**** So what has Bella been up to with Peter and Charlotte...? Leave us reviews with your ideas... Until next time**

**ECISLove2010 and Jacobbygyal**

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xx

**Stories to read:**

**Behind My Back: A Love Story » by "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned." Bella Swan, Business Consultant,and Edward Cullen, CEO, are cheated on by their partners. Now, Edward has a proposition Bella simply cannot refuse. What will happen along the way? ExB. Canon Pairings. A/H, A/U.**

**Don't Forget I Love You » by sweettweety All Human. What if you cheated on your wife. The next second your both are in a car crash and she doesn't remember you. Can you make her love you again when you didn't love her in the first place.**

**Who Says You Can't Have It All » by phoenix fan1 Edward can't stand that Bella has to sacrifice so much to marry him and become a vampire. He is determined to find a way to give her everything she never knew she always wanted.**


	7. Phase One: Complete

**A/N**** Heyy ! OhmyGod ! Im soo sorry bout not posting sooner, its juss tht i have skool nd stuff so i didn't have time to work on this buh dun worry i will try not to let yuh down again! Thanks for sticking around !**

**Lots of love, **

**JBG**

**Previously on: The Fuckery That is Bella's Life.**

_Before I can say hello to Bella or should I say Audrey she speaks to me... "Hello Major, I have heard so much about you." Audrey said with a soft smile on her lips._

_"Touché Audrey, touché."I replied with a smirk_

_Before we can get anywhere closer Edward roared "SHE DID WHAT!"_

_Shit! _

_He read my mind._

_Alone at last,  
I can't wait till we're alone at last  
All i wanted was a second chance, second chance  
To hold you in my arms at last_

Forever, forever  
I'll walk a thousand miles  
Just to tell her, to tell her  
Our love is still alive  
And I'll never, I'll never  
I'll never let it die  
Well you'd better watch your step  
She's a diamond on a landmine

**Edward's POV**

What the fuck? That's all I could think of right now. How could I let this happen to my once sweet innocent Bella? I can't believe what I just read from Jaspers mind!

_**What Edward Saw in Jasper's Mind**_

_As I walked into Peter's and Charlotte's main room, I overheard Charlotte talking to Peter bout what he and this person named Audrey did "Peter," Charlotte murmured "You know, In a way, I'm kind of glad that Audrey left. But in a way, I feel sad because I miss her. I don't know how to feel. " _

"_Same here my love." Peter replied. "I miss her dearly but I think she has caused enough havoc for us." _

_At that moment I decided to 'randomly stroll in' and ask how this 'Audrey' person is._

"_Hello Peter and Charlotte." I greeted them kindly. "Good morning Jasper." They replied at the same time. "I know you're wondering who we were talking about, so please don't try to be discreet about this." Peter said with a smirk playing on his lips. _

_Damnit. _

"_Okay then, let's cut the crap. Who is Audrey?" I asked as I sat down._

_It was Charlotte's turn to talk. "Audrey is this human blood drinking vampire we met 11 years before you came. She actually left a couple of days ago. God how I miss that trouble-making girl." She mused "Anyways, when we first met her, that girl was CRAZY! _

"_She was a rebellious vampire just looking for death by the Volturi. Every single day, we would hear stories of people who had their blood drained from their bodies and limbs being partially ripped off. It was disgusting and repulsive to look at and that's saying something. _

"_But we ignored that part of her because under all that anger and bitterness, we could see that the poor girl was hurting inside. So we took her in and decided to see if she would change her murderous ways. _

"_Of course she didn't stop and threatened to put us in immense pain if we kept pushing her, so we stopped." _

"_She also had a tendency to...erm...do the dirty you could say with her victims...then she would kill them." Peter added in._

_Damn, this lady is bad-ass._

"_After a while, we started to see the better, nicer side of her. I never knew one person could be so caring, sweet and funny. She told us why she was so angry in the first place though. She said it was because of an ex-boyfriend of hers named Edward." Charlotte resumed her original story._

"_Oh?" I said shocked and shocked. Did Edward date people and we never knew? That sneaky boy..._

"_Yeah. She said how he had a family of two 'brothers', two 'sisters', and foster parents." She continued. _

"_What did she tell you about her past?" I asked intrigued by this 'Audrey' person._

"_She said that she lived in an "insignificant dot" in Washington called Forks. She was an only child. Her parents were divorced while she was young and her mother married a baseball player" Peter answered. Holy shit! Audrey is..Bella! Damn!_

"_Would you like to see pictures of Audrey, Jasper?" Charlotte asked? THANK THE LORD THAT SHE HAD PICTURES! "Yes please!" I said a little too excitedly. Peter pondered, "Jasper, do you know her by any chance?" "I think so." I replied to Peter as I took the photo album from Charlotte and looked at the picture._

_It was a picture of Bella/Audrey and Charlotte in a forest at night. Charlotte pale orange hair was in a loose, messy ponytail and she was wearing ripped light-wash skinny jeans, a flower corset, and a black over throw _**(A/N: I will post up the clothing later.) **_while 'Audrey' was wearing black short shorts, a white tank top with heavy 'Mr.T' chains, a black leather jacket, a fitted lid with the letter 'A' nicely sewn on it and some black and gold Nike's. Her hair was long, blackish brown and full of wild curls. _

"_The girl with the hat is Audrey." Charlotte mentioned to me. _

_No shit Charlotte, No freaking shit._

_**End of Mind-Reading Flashback**_

I just... I don't know what to think! I'm going to have a talk with Peter and Charlotte on how they could let Audrey do this!

'_Well, it's not anybody's fault except for you Edward. You know very well that we did not want to leave Audrey." _Jasper reminded me via thoughts. He was right though. It was my fault.

Great job Edward.

You really out-did yourself.

**Alice's POV**

Oh my God! Jazzy's finally back home! I'm soo happy I don't think anything can

wreck this happiness in me!

Hmm... I wonder what Edward and Jasper are thinking about? Oh well, I will worry about that later. Right after we- Edward let out a strangled groan. Oops...

Oh well, Haters gonna hate.

**Audrey's POV**

Ahaha!

You should've seen the look on Eddie's face when he heard Jasper's thoughts!

It was PRICELESS!

Anyways, in case you're wondering, I'm kind of okay with Jasper. I feel kind of bad that he thinks it's his fault since it isn't. So I'm cool with Jasper. I mean it's not like he's bothersome, just like his mate. But still, I am kind of cheesed that he also left. But not as much as I am angry with the rest of them.

After everybody said hello, I saw Jasper talking to the goblin _Alice_. I decided to let him know something.

"Hey Jasper. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever want to talk about whatever, then you can come to my room." I said calmly. "Sure thing, can Alice come too?" Jasper asked. I simply replied "Nope, I don't want any goblins in my room." Saying that, I turned and strutted up to my room.

A couple of hours later, I heard a knock on my door. I smelt a disgusting smell. It was Edward. Damn, I was expecting Jasper. Although I have been wanting to talk to Edward about what happened recently.

"Come in." I said coolly. "Good afternoon Audrey," Edward greeted me "Sorry to bother you but I wanted to hang out with you. If that is okay. I mean after talking with you when we were organizing our stu-."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that. You see, I don't have a reason to why I decided to talk to you, but I can assure you that I have no intentions to let that happen again. Okay? Good bye Edward, Have a good existence." I told him off and closed the door on his face.

Now that he's out of the way, time to execute part one.

"Edward. I want to hunt and I want you to come with me!" I yelled as I ran glided down the stairs.

"Do you want to lea-" He stopped abruptly as he gave me a head-to-toe check. "Do you want me to do a spin for you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Audrey! Why are you dressed like that? Go change into something more modest!" Edward growled at me.

WHAT THE FUCK? This kid is BRIGHT! Who is he to tell me what to wear? He is NOT my dad. My dad is dead.

By the way, I'm not wearing anything slutty, I am wearing a simple short blue body-hugging dress, a diamond bangle, black pumps, and my Boleyn necklace **(****A/N:**** clothes on profile!) **my hair is loosely curled and down while i have a black smokey eye and pink lips.

"Excuse me for wanting to dress up okay? Listen, I don't know who the fuck you think you are? All I know is that you're not really important to me and you do not make my life better in any way so I don't care what you think! I don't belong to you! If you have a problem with what I am wearing, then you could go get yourself a diary and write it down cause I don't give a horse's ass!" I snapped as I strutted angrily to my car.

While I was walking Emmett decided to comment on my attire "Lookin' good Auds" I growled to him "My name is Audrey okay? Geez."

I heard a growl behind me and I smirked. It looks like somebody was thinking some naughty stuff about me.

We drove to the nearest club in silence. When we got there, I told him to park the car and to meet me near the bar area. He simply nodded and drove off. The minute I walked in, my eyes zeroed down to this boy, he looked like he was in his mid-20's. He had short caramel coloured hair and vibrant blue eyes. Lucky me, I found my appetizer.

I had just realized that I told Edward to meet me at the bar. For a milli second, I considered waiting for him. But the smarter side of me said not to. So I decided to make my move and go get him.

He walked over to the bar and started to talk to his friends. I pushed up my boobs, threw my hair behind my shoulders and tapped his shoulder. He turned around and looked at me with big eyes and said "Hey sexy."

This is going to be fun.

"Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to dance with me, all my friends are somewhere else and I can't find them, I feel so lonely." I purred softly. "Sure thing hun." He replied smoothly. He told his friends that he was gonna dance with me and they all gave him that 'take-her-home' look. It's a shame that the next time they see him, he will be in a funeral home.

We grinded up against each other for a while. And I looked to the side and noticed Edward sitting down on one of the bar stools, burning holes into my head. So I thought it would be fun to let him watch me kiss another man. So I grabbed the boy and gave him a long, tongue-induced kiss. His mouth tasted like cigarette's and whiskey. I noticed-though the side of my eye- that Edward looked like he was ready to kill this kid.

I never felt so good in my entire existence.

After that kiss, he slurred into my ear, "I wanna take yous home seeexyyy!"

I told him to come though the back door with me. He quickly agreed. I gave Edward a look, letting him know that I was going to kill him just now. Once we got to back, he started to touch me up and he tried to kiss me but I purred "What do you think about death baby?"

"I tthhink that I will diiiieee if I don't get to fuuuckk your'ss tiiight ass bbbaaabbyyyy" He slurred happily.

"Well then, I guess it's your time to go. Bye!" I said joyfully as I bit into his neck and sucked the life out of him.

When I was done, I threw the body to Edward and commanded him to bury the body somewhere far from here. He looked at me with sad eyes and left.

A couple of kills later, I wanted to go home. So I got Edward and told him to get the car and that I would wait for him outside. As he left, I grabbed this lady in her late 20's and quickly dragged her to the back of the club, snapped her neck, pumped her blood into a bag and shoved it into my bag. I rushed to the front just to see my car waiting for me. I got in and we drove home in silence once more.

**Edward's POV**

This has been a sucky day.

First, Audrey told me that she didn't want to talk to me ever again.

Next, she puts on one of the most amazingly sexy dresses I have ever seen her wear and expects me to think that I would let her walk around like that? She looked like a walking hard-on inducer! Her breast looked incredulous! And her ass? _Have you seen that ass?_ Holy shit! I wanted to rip off that dress and fuck her senseless. Point Blank. Even Emmett thought he looked hot!

And finally, she grabs 5 different men, freaking dry humps them and lets them touch her up and makes sure that I'm watching! I have to be honest, that was low of her to do. But then again, I deserved it. I deserved every little punishment that I get. And I don't think she realized that she's doing me a favour though. If she didn't kill them, I'm pretty sure I would've.

I don't understand how she could let those children touch her up though. Like seriously? That was disgusting. If I could throw up, I would've... a lot.

As we drove home, I noticed her hand keep going into her little purse-thingy. I really hope that she didn't put blood in there. Or else it would ruin the family. Especially Jasper and Alice.

The minute I turned the car off, she grabbed the keys and sprinted to her room. I heard the shower turn on seconds later. _Thank God._ I thought slightly relieved. I went to Carlisle's room and told him that I was going to hunt alone. I couldn't believe the pain I feel in my heart. Its feels like Bella is still missing. Which she still is. All I know is, I am stuck with the new, sexy, smart, rude, sexy, confident, intelligent and sexy side of Bella.

I am stuck with Audrey.

But is it wrong to want Audrey more than Bella?

**A/N:**** SOO? Do ya like it? On Microsoft word, this is 7 pages. So i hope you can forgive me and read my other stories AND review!**

**Lots of kisses,**

**Jacobbygyal & ECISLove2010**


	8. All Is Fair In Love And War Part One

**A/N****: Heyy Heyy Heyy ! I'M (as always) SOO SORRY fir making you guys wait so long! Its just that reality caught up with me **** I hope this chapter can make up for it. Anyways, how was your Halloween? Review and let me no what you guys dressed up as.**

**Lots of love, **

**JBG**

**Previously on: The Fuckery That is Bella's Life.**

_The minute I turned the car off, she grabbed the keys and sprinted to her room. I heard the shower turn on seconds later. Thank God. I thought slightly relieved. I went to Carlisle's room and told him that I was going to hunt alone. I couldn't believe the pain I feel in my heart. Its feels like Bella is still missing. Which she still is. All I know is, I am stuck with the new, sexy, smart, rude, sexy, confident, intelligent and sexy side of Bella._

_I am stuck with Audrey. _

_But is it wrong to want Audrey more than Bella?_

**Audrey's POV**

_Dear whatever I should call you,_

_I have been in this house for about 1 month now. Things were going okay. I love to watch the Cullen's in pain every time I go to hunt. So far, I took Edward, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie. I didn't bother with Carlisle and Alice because Carlisle obviously works with blood so he can handle it and Alice is just too damn annoying! I don't and won't ever understand how I ever even __liked__ to be around that girl. Anyways, Alice has been running around and giggling for the past 4 days, and every time I try to hear what she is thinking about, she keeps thinking about that stupid rapist in Linkin Park. So now I am fully aware that he is "snatching your people up trynna to rape 'em. Hide ja' kids, hide ja' wife, hide ja' husband cuz' he's gonna rape errybody in hurr!" I swear if I have to hear that stupid shit one more time I going to ri-_

"AUDREEEYYYY!" Alice unnecessarily yelled, "WE NEED YOU DOWNSTAIRS NOWW!" I groaned and put my 'diary' away. As I open my door I realized something, _who was she to tell me what to do? _ So I asked "Why do I need to come downstairs?"

"Because we have a surprise for you!" Rosalie giggled. "Well, I don't want it." I replied coldly. I slammed my door and walked back to my bed. Before I could actually sit down, I felt to huge arms grab me and run. _Stupid Emmett_ I thought to myself.

Once we got down stairs, he let me go and I punched his "manhood" so hard that even Carlisle moved his hands down south. "That's what you get for taking me somewhere I don't want to be." I said with a smirk in my face. I looked at Rosalie bent over trying to help Emmett, but there's no use. I giggled and said "You know Rosalie, I would've told you that at least you won't have to worry about not having kids anymore, but unfortunately, God already got there before I could." When she looked at me, I expected to see anger but I only saw hurt, pain and sadness. Maybe that was a bit below the belt...literally... Oh well.

"Anyways." Alice said to change the topic, "One of the Denali's is having a wedding. And they invited us. The wedding will be in three days, so we need to start packing."

"If it is in three days why do we need to pack now?" Edward asked. He took the words right out of my mouth. "Because we are leaving tonight!" Alice said and went to slap the back of his head. Wow, she can actually reach? "Then you should of said that." Edward grumbled as he rubbed his head.

After that she "let" us go upstairs and start to pack I sighed. I really did not want to go with the Cullens to Tanya Denali's place. Tanya and I have never got on. I stayed with them for about 7 years a few years after I was a newborn. Kate and Irina were cool to be with along with Carmen and Laurent. Laurent is Irina mate but unlike the rest of the family he has stuck to his own diet.  
He and I understand each other. He was furious with Edward and The Cullens when he first heard what had happened the dreadful 18th birthday and what fuckward had done that day when he had left me in the forest.  
He was also disgusted in Victoria he knew and she knew that James and her were not actual mates. He only had kept Victoria around for so long as she was useful in escaping. That was her talent it is also one of mine.  
Irina and Kate were tempted to leave the comfort of the Denalis' house and go and track Edward's ass and kick it all the way to Australia and back. I would have loved to have seen that. Tanya on the other hand thought that she still had a chance with him.  
I fucking laughed my head off when she came back hissing and snarling. She did not even get through the front door. Ah dear the slut was not happy!  
Eleazar took a while to warm up to me but once he did he helped me with my talent. It was described by Carmen as "a wet dream for him." He was the one who told me that I was a shield. He was also the one to help me learn how to control my talent so I could actually walk around with killing everyone.  
I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not hear him come in behind me.  
"Audrey. Is it ok if you ride with me?" He asked and I mean I was going to tell him to fuck right off. Then I thought that it was the best fucking idea that Edward Cullen had ever and will ever have.  
"Sure" I said turning away so that he could not see my smirk.  
When I finished packing I went for a hunt. I respected the Denalis' too much to hunt near their house. 

**Edward****'****s POV**

Audrey is sat in the car with me and is currently driving me insane with both lust and anger… Lust because I know and she knows that we are mates but I have pissed her off. Therefore she wont talk to me without insulting me. She keeps changing the songs all of the time and I know that the songs are a personal dig at me.

_Black dress, with the tights underneath  
I've got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth  
And she's an actress (actress), but she ain't got no need  
She's got money from her parents and a trust fund back east_

T-t-t-tongue's always pressed to your cheeks  
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth  
Tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef  
That I'm a vegetarian, and I ain't fuckin' scared of him

She wants to touch me (whoa)  
She wants to love me (whoa)  
She'll never leave me (whoa, whoa oh oh)  
Don't trust a hoe  
Never trust a hoe  
Won't trust a hoe  
Won't trust me

She does not trust me and will never trust me again, Great!

_I see you driving 'round town  
With the girl i love and i'm like,  
Fuck you!  
Oo, oo, ooo  
I guess the change in my pocket  
Wasn't enough i'm like,  
Fuck you!  
And fuck her too!  
I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya  
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)  
And although there's pain in my chest  
I still wish you the best with a...  
Fuck you!  
Oo, oo, ooo_

Kind of guessing the Fuck you bits are for me, as she is singing them directly at me. Why is it that I love her so much yet she seems to hate me. I know I destroyed this girl with the lies that I told when she was human. But when will it be enough for her….

_Take me, I'm alive, never was a girl with a wicked mind  
But everything looks better, when the sun goes down  
I had everything, opportunities for eternity and I  
could belong to the night  
Your eyes, your eyes, I can see in your eyes, your eyes_

You make me wanna die  
I'll never be good enough  
You make me wanna die  
And everything you love, right up in the light  
Every time I look inside your eyes  
Make me wanna die

Yikes every time the girl sings the line Make me wanna die~ Bella looks at me and sings the lines directly at me.  
This continued on the whole journey up to Alaska when she had finished with the songs that were digs at me she decided to play songs that would annoy me. Mainly she played Justin fucking Bieiber. I hated him when he was alive. I sure as hell hate him now.  
Then to make it worse she started fucking playing bloody Aqua. Aqua were a danish band that made cheesy pop music in the 1990's.  
_You fall in love for the first time  
Heartbeat, and kisses so sweet  
Summertime love in the moonlight_

Ah-yippie-yi-yu  
Ah-yippie-yi-yeah  
Ah-yippie-yi-yu-ah

Now the summer is gone  
You had to go back home  
Please come and see me again  
I never felt more alone

Baby, I am missing you  
I want you by my side  
And I hope you'll miss me too  
Come back and stay  
I think about you every day  
I really want you too  
You swept my feet right off the ground, you're the love I found

Doctor Jones, Jones, Calling Doctor Jones  
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, Get up now (Wake up now)

Doctor Jones, Jones, Calling Doctor Jones  
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, Wake up now (Wake up now)

Ah-yippie-yi-yu  
Ah-yippie-yi-yeah  
Ah-yippie-yi-yu-ah

Ah-yippie-yi-yu  
Ah-yippie-yi-yeah  
Ah-yippie-yi-yu-ah

All I think of is you, and all of the things we had  
Doctor, what can I do?  
Why does it have to be like that?

Baby, I am missing you  
I want you by my side  
And I hope you'll miss me too  
Come back and stay  
I think about you every day  
I really want you too  
You swept my feet right off the ground, you're the love I found

Doctor Jones, Jones, Calling Doctor Jones  
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, Get up now (Wake up now)

Doctor Jones, Jones, Calling Doctor Jones  
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, Wake up now (Wake up now)

I turned that off pretty quickly and Audrey scowled at me…though she did not shut up…She started to hum and sing Baby by Justin Biebier….Growls could it be anymore annoying.

When we finally arrived up in Alaska, Audrey was out of the car and hugging Kate and Irina. My family's thoughts turned to jealously. They all wanted Bella to be like that with them.  
When they spotted us the majority of the Denali's scowled. Tanya came over trying to hug me but I wanted nothing to do with her. Sigh would she never get that into her brain. When I looked at them interacting it left me knowing why I wondered the last time my family and I was up there only one of them wanted anything to do with me.  
Kate took one look at me and launched into a mental attack on me.  
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you Grade A Jerk do you know that? I know what you did to Audrey all them years ago and I will not let you ever hurt her again. She is my best friend and I will never see her like I saw her when ever you name was mentioned do you understand?" All I could do was nod. She had knocked sense into me, she had only been in the house 2 minutes and she had made me feel worse than the family had done for the past 97 years.  
Irian called me a fucking moron in her head while the rest of The Denali's thoughts were pretty similar… All but Tanya's. All she wanted to do was get into my pants. Not fucking happening. The only woman I want to get into my pants is being hit on by Stefan...  
Hang on a minute! Stefan from the Romanin coven is after my Audrey? I don't think so. She is mine and he will know that soon enough! What the fuck is he doing here anyway? I didn't even know that they got along! All I know is, Stefan better watch out, because Audrey is mine!

A/N: Sorry for the cliffy! But dont worry I will try to get the next chapter up before saturday!

**A/N:**

**Jacobbygyal & ECISLove2010**


	9. All is Fair in Love and War Part Two

**A/N****: *Facepalm* I'm a bitch. I truly truly am. I would apologize but I know that I apologized too many times for it to actually mean anything so if you guys want to yell at me for (unintentionally) lying, then go ahead. I'll understand. **** BTW Should I keep adding the lyrics in or not? Oh and on Microsoft word, this is 1,620 words, **

**Lots of love, **

**JBG**

**Previously on: The Fuckery That is Bella's Life.**  
_Irina called me a fucking moron in her head while the rest of The Denali's thoughts were pretty similar… All but Tanya's. All she wanted to do was get into my pants. Not fucking happening. The only woman I want to get into my pants is being hit on by Stefan...  
__Hang on a minute! Stefan from the Romanian coven is after my Audrey? I don__'__t think so. She is mine and he will know that soon enough! What the fuck is he doing here anyway? I didn't__even know that they got along! All I know is, Stefan better watch out, because Audrey is mine!_

**Audrey's POV**

OH. MY. SHIT. Will this idiot SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY? Can he not fucking see that I am not interested in what he has to say? As I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, I see Edward burning holes into the side of Stefan's head. 'Hmm... Maybe I should play around a little bit' I think to myself as a smirk grows onto my lips. I put my hand on his arm and purr "Wow Stefan, I never knew you were so interesting! We should talk more often." I rub his arm and look at him through my lashes. He stuttered a bit before replying "Okay, how about we talk later tonight?" he took a step closer and put his hand right beside my ass. Creep. That's when fuckward came to the rescue... yay. "I'm sure you need help with your bags Audrey. How about I help you take them upstairs?" He growled through clenched teeth while picking up my bags with one hand and snaking his arm around my waist with the other. I truned back and said with phony-happiness "I would _love_ to see you tonight in my room Stefan!" I giggled and grinned at Edward. I have never seen him so hurt before... I almost wanted to call off the plan, maybe I was taking this too far... NO! He hurt you! Now it's time for payback! I mentally shook my head at my little internal argument and noticed that he doesn't look hurt anymore... he looks pissed.

"If you think that you will see that pedophile in your room tonight, then you got another thing coming for you! Why on this earth would you think that creeper is somewhat interesting, let alone good looking? Listen Audrey, I know that you are probably trying to make me jealous but really? Stefan? Come 'on I know you could do better." He sighed and sat on my sofa, running his fingers through his hair as he continued "Why do you need to do this? I'm in more than enough pain already. Audrey," He got up and stood real close to me, I could feel his minty breath on my face. He laced his fingers into my hair with on hand and the other one was on my waist, holding me close to him.

"I know if I say sorry it won't fix anything. But we can fix this, maybe not anytime soon but over time we can overcome this. I have faith in you, in us. Audrey please, let's just stop these stupid games." He slowly started to move his face down to mine. For reasons unknown, I closed the gap. Feeling his smooth, cool lips on mine brought back all those (now blurry) memories of Edward and me when I was a human. Instinctively weaved my hands into his soft, thick, luscious hair and kissed him back as he slid his hand just below the small of my back. After (what felt like) years later, we parted. He rested his forehead on mine and whispered "I love you my Audrey. I always have and always will." I started to feel myself crumble. I knew this was it. I couldn't play games anymore... That's when I heard a soft knock on my door. Oh yeah, I forgot about Samuel...or was it Sebastian? Edward looked at me with love and lust clear in his eyes. Do I let Edward win or play around some more? I sort of believe Edward; I think we have a chance... I hate to admit it...but I still love him. But I have waited so long to get my payback; He doesn't deserve to win so easily. So I walked to the door and opened it "Hey there...you.." I said with false joy. He grinned widely and said "Hi Audrey." He looked over my shoulder and asked me "What's Cullen doing here?" with annoyance clear in his voice. Its decision time. I looked back at Edward and then said. "He was just leaving, right Edward?" He looked miserable and heart-broken...again. He sighed and nodded his head gloomily saying "I guess I will see you around soon lo- Audrey." With his head hung low, he glided past Stefan and I. 'This was for the best' I reminded myself. This later became my mantra as Stefan kept talking about him being 'the king of vampires' once upon a time and how he will soon try to take over. He even had the nerve to say that when he does (which I know he's incapable of doing) he will make me his queen. I swear if I could vomit I would've by now. But all I could think of was my next step in getting my payback.

**Edward's POV**

'**What the hell? Did she not feel anything when we kissed? I know that I did and I'm pretty sure she did since she kissed me back. Why is she still doing this?' I wondered sorrowfully as I walked back to my room. "Hey Ed." Emmett greeted me. "Hi Em." I replied in a monotone voice as I kept walking to my room. "What's wrong little bro? Audrey's here with you. Shouldn't you be happy?" Emmett asked. I sighed and turned around facing Emmett, "One, I'm older than you and two...nothing." I sighed once more and turned my back to Emmett. Emmett walked up to me and asked "Edward, we're close right? I mean, I tell you everything, why don't you return the favour for once?" Knowing that he was right –for once- I walked into my room and held the door open for him. He grinned and walked in, I closed the door and turned around facing him. "I was just walking out of Audrey's room. We were talking and I know that she still loves me even though she didn't say it yet." Emmett looked confused so I continued, "She kicked me out just so she can spend time with **_**Stefan**_** " I sneered "I saw her eyes and she looked annoyed that Stefan was there, yet she still let him in and acted like she was glad that he was there." I angrily ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. "Did ya kiss her?" He asked. "What" I looked at him with a shocked and embarrassed look. "You heard me. Did you kiss her?" He asked with a smile growing on his lips. "That's out of question."I replied while looking down, he smirked "Did. You. Kiss. Her?" I sighed and admitted "Yes, yes I did. What does that have to do with it?" He now has a full blown grin on his face. Stupid boy. "Well since you kissed her, maybe she will think about it and you and maybe she will reconsider her whole revenge plan." I take that back, he's a straight up IDIOT! "Noooo! Really? Wow! I have not thought about that!" I said with a sarcastic tone clear in my voice. His joker-like grin finally disappeared. "Well what else do you want me to say?" He grumbled. "I sighed and walked to the door and opened it "You're no help Em, just leave." He got up and shrugged "Sorry bro, I just don't know what to say. I mean I never been in your shoes before. I can talk to her if you want." "No, that's okay. Thanks for trying though, good night Emmett." "Night Ed." He said as he walked to his room.**

**I closed the door and walked to table, I sat down on my table and rested my head on my hand, thinking about my Audrey. 'I wonder what she's doing? Is she having fun? I doubt it, but she could be... No, I saw the look in her eyes when she saw him at the door. Then again she probably was just lying through her eyes... Is she kissing him? She wouldn't, he's not her type...I am. I should go check on her, but what if she yells at me? I could be sneaky... No Edward! Dont! But... Good Lord Edward stop talking to yourself and just go check up on her' I shook my head and went outside. I walked to the window in her room and silently stalked her (for a lack of better words) for the rest of the night hoping that one day, I wouldn't have to sit out here and stalk her, I could be in her room, holding her as close to me as I please.**

A/N: I would LOVE LOVE LOVE if you left a review! ILOVEYOUGUYSSOMUCH!

**A/N:**

**Jacobbygyal & ECISLove2010**


	10. Only The Beginnning

**A/N****: Hey guys... if any of you are still with me that is... A lot of things have changed during this past year, my beta wrote out the next chapter but never sent it to me, which sent me to a huge writers block, but now I have decided to continue this story on my own. Please let me know what you think. Thanks. **

**Previously on: The Fuckery That is Bella's Life.**  
_(Edward's POV)__I closed the door and walked to table, I sat down on my table and rested my head on my hand, thinking about my Audrey. 'I wonder what she's doing? Is she having fun? I doubt it, but she could be... No, I saw the look in her eyes when she saw him at the door. Then again she probably was just lying through her eyes... Is she kissing him? She wouldn't, he's not her type...I am. I should go check on her, but what if she yells at me? I could be sneaky... No Edward! Don't! But... Good Lord Edward stop talking to yourself and just go check up on her' I shook my head and went outside. I walked to the window in her room and silently stalked her (for a lack of better words) for the rest of the night hoping that one day, I wouldn't have to sit out here and stalk her, I could be in her room, holding her as close to me as I please._

**Audrey's POV**

After a long night of faking laughs and nodding along to what's-his-face's boring stories about his past, I used the rising sun as an excuse to kick king douche out of my room so I can have some Audrey time to myself. Grabbing two towels for myself, I make my way over to the bathroom. I turn on the water and slip off my clothing while the water reached the temperature I set it to. I step into the bath tub and make sure I am fully wet before washing myself with shampoo and body soap. After I finish with my shower, I dry myself off with one towel and wrap the other towel around my head. I walk to my bed and pull out my suitcase, choosing to wear navy blue jeggings, a thick blue sweater with black and purple horizontal designs and grey low cut moccasins. Finishing off the look with my hair in a fishtail braid, I grab my phone and head down to the Denali's main room where just to my luck, Stefan was there. Alone. Oh how I despised the delusional douche-bag.

"Hey baby, how was your shower? I hope you were thinking of me 'cause I was thinking about you." He winked. That's it, screw making Edward jealous. Stefan is a dead man. Just as I was about to give this perverted bastard the beating of his life, Kate and a tall, dark haired man walked in. _Wow, Kate sure does have good taste in men. _"Didn't anyone tell you it's not good to commit murder first thing in the morning?" Kate asked giggling. My irritation for the ancient nuisance dissolved when I heard Kate's sarcastic comment. "I never understood what's wrong with murder in the morning, it's actually quite relaxing" I reply grinning before giving her a tight hug. "Murder? Murder who? Who are we talking about?" Stefan asked confusingly. "Stefan can you leave?" I growled at him. He smiled and got up "I'm going to hunt then, I'll be back later babe." I clench my fist and grit my teeth together. _This man is just begging for death. _I shake it off and look up at the man behind Kate, "And you must be Garrett. I'm Audrey. Kate has told me a lot about you. I'm glad you two are happy together." I said sincerely. They looked at each other with nothing but pure love in their eyes. Seeing them together made me think of Edward and I.

Would we ever be able to be together again?

Could that be us one day?

Did I have it in me to forgive him and start a new future with him?

All these questions made me think back to last night.

_Flashback_

_"If you think that you will see that pedophile in your room tonight, then you got another thing coming for you! Why on this earth would you think that creeper is somewhat interesting, let alone good looking? Listen Audrey, I know that you are probably trying to make me jealous but really? Stefan? Come 'on I know you could do better." He sighed and sat on my sofa, running his fingers through his hair as he continued "Why do you need to do this? I'm in more than enough pain already. Audrey," He got up and stood real close to me, I could feel his minty breath on my face. He laced his fingers into my hair with on hand and the other one was on my waist, holding me close to him._

_"I know if I say sorry it won't fix anything. But we can fix this, maybe not anytime soon but over time we can overcome this. I have faith in you, in us. Audrey please, let's just stop these stupid games." He slowly started to move his face down to mine. For reasons unknown, I closed the gap. Feeling his smooth, cool lips on mine brought back all those (now blurry) memories of Edward and me when I was a human. Instinctively weaved my hands into his soft, thick, luscious hair and kissed him back as he slid his hand just below the small of my back. After (what felt like) years later, we parted. He rested his forehead on mine and whispered "I love you my Audrey. I always have and always will." I started to feel myself crumble. I knew this was it. I couldn't play games anymore... _

_End of Flashback_

Should I stop? Should I really end this revenge plan and forget the past? "Earth to Audrey, do you come in?" Kate yelled in my ear. "Calm down Kate! I'm right here!" I growled as I rubbed my ear. From the corner of my eye I noticed Edward looking at me, with a crooked grin on his face. _Oh God please tell me I didn't say anything out loud. I guess this is what I get for letting my shield down. _I thought to myself worriedly. Kate rolled her eyes jokingly "Great, you're leaving me to go back to Audrey-ville again? Is everything alright?" "What? Oh, uh yeah everything is alright. I just have some thinking to do." I replied quietly.

**Edward's POV**

'_Would we ever be able to be together again? Could that be us one day? Did I have it in me to forgive him and start a new future with him?' _I put my book that I was reading and sit up. Who's that? I mean it sounds a lot like Audrey's voice... no. It can't be, I can't her Bella's thoughts. It's impossible. I quietly get off of my chair and slowly open my door, listening to possibly Audrey's thoughts. As I make my way downstairs I see a mental image of Audrey and I's kiss from last night... coming from Audrey's point of view! I don't know what I'm more excited about, being able to hear Audrey's thoughts or the fact that she is contemplating forgiveness. Immediately I feel a grin grow onto my face. Suddenly, Audrey's voice disappears and all I hear is Kate's and I'm assuming her fiancée's loving thoughts about each other and that imbecile Stefan's disgusting, fading fantasizes of Audrey. Why is he here anyways? Stupid old pervert. But he can't stop me from winning my Audrey back. Nothing can.

**Stefan's POV**

Audrey's so hot. I haven't felt this way in... well forever. I have a good feeling she was thinking of killing Edward when the blond said Murder isn't good in the morning. Maybe Tanya's plan is working! Well my half of the plan that is. I don't care if Tanya gets Edward or not, as long as I get my Audrey in the end, then everything will be okay. Then together, we can rule the world! I beam and run off with that thought in mind, making my hunt more enjoyable.

**AN: ****What a crazy perv Stefan is... tsk tsk tsk. Maybe we will see what's going on in the psychotic girl named Tanya next chapter? Do you want to hear more from Stefan? Next chapter will be uploaded hopefully at the end of this week. I don't have a writing schedule just yet. Reviews would be highly appreciated! Thank you and see you soon! (Sorry for the short chapter by the way.)**


	11. Let The Games Begin

**A/N****: Thanks for all the reviews and favourites guys. I truly do appreciate it. I've decided that I will post once a week, I haven't exactly decided what day, but when I do, I'll be sure to let you know. Just to let you know, I have decided that Laurent will still be alive in this fan fiction and the time set is still the same day from the previous chapter. See you at the bottom. **

**Previously on: The Fuckery That is Bella's Life.**  
_**Stefan's POV**_

_Audrey's so hot. I haven't felt this way in... well forever. I have a good feeling she was thinking of killing Edward when the blond said Murder isn't good in the morning. Maybe Tanya's plan is working! Well my half of the plan that is. I don't care if Tanya gets Edward or not, as long as I get my Audrey in the end, then everything will be okay. Then together, we can rule the world! I beam and run off with that thought in mind, making my hunt more enjoyable. _

**Audrey's POV**

_It's been a long time since I last wrote in you. Last time I wrote in you was when I was back in Brookswood... When I first moved in with the Cullen's... When I still hated Edward... Now don't get me wrong, I'm still mad at Edward for what he did. He still has a lot of apologizing and trust-gaining to do, but as much as I do not want to admit it- which I really don't- Edward's charm is starting to work on me again. I feel like I'm constantly fighting with myself. Should I give in or not, lately I've been leaning on taking him back. But I feel like I'm being too easy on him. The weird thing is, whenever I get close to ending the plan, freaking Stefan starts talking to me. I hate that imbecile with a burning passion! Anyways, I think I should go now. _

_Write to you later, Audrey._

I close my book and burry it deep into my luggage. I glance at the clock on my wall, _2:45pm_. I guess I should go back to the main room before Kate barges in here and finds my journal. Standing up, I make my way to the main room, finding Esme, Carlisle, Carmen and Eleazar talking amongst themselves. Esme and Carmen are talking about interior designs and Carlisle recapping everything that took place since out first encounter in Brookswood to Eleazar.

When I walked in, all four of them look up at me, smiling sweetly at me. "They are all outside my dear." Esme answered my unasked question. I simply nodded at her and smiled at Carmen and Eleazar. "AUDREY! COME SIT OVER HERE" Kate yelled unnecessary as I stepped outside. I rolled my eyes and jogged over to her, dodging the boys and their football game. I take my seat on one of the four benches, (that were previously arrange to make a square) sitting between Irina and Kate. Sitting with us is Alice, Rosalie and Tanya. "Audrey, it's so nice to see you again." Tanya greets me with a faux smile plastered on her face.

_Ugh, not this bitch again. _

You see, when I first came to live with the Denali's, everyone was warm and welcoming to me except for Tanya. To this day I have no clue why she was- and still is- annoyed with my existence. She'll just have to get used to me though, because there is no way in hell that I'll miss Kate's wedding. She's my best friend and she was there for me when no one else wanted to be.

**Tanya's POV**

"Wow, she really has changed! The last time I heard about her she seemed like a quiet, kind girl." Irina commented in shock after Alice and Rosalie finished telling Kate, Irina and I everything about how Audrey bumped into them and later decided to move in with them. "Audrey? Quiet? I would have never believed!" Kate added to Irina's previous comment. I rolled my eyes "Who cares about Audrey anyways?" I murmur softly to myself, not remembering that everyone here has vampire hearing and could hear me even if I whispered it. "Tanya, what is it with you and this random hatred you have for Audrey. I don't recall her doing anything bad to you or harming you in any way, shape or form. This really needs to stop. You cannot keep hating somebody for no reason, it's very childish of you." Rosalie scolded. _I know it is very childish to hate someone for no reason, that's why I have my reasons._ I thought, forcing myself to not roll my eyes at her. Before I could verbally respond to Kate's remarks about me, Kate just had to scream at Audrey to join us. I refrained from thinking about anything remembering that Audrey can also read minds.

"Audrey, it's so nice to see you again" I greet with a faux smile on my face. What a clueless, unappreciative child she is. She walks around having Edward right behind her like a lost puppy. I don't know what Eddy see's in her anyways. I mean, look at me! I'm cute, short, and blond and lots of fun to be around! Whilst she's awkwardly tall, boring and angry all the damn time! But I won't worry much about her anymore. Once operation win-Eddy-for-myself takes place, I'll be able to have Eddy all for myself!

"Hey Kate, hey Irina" Audrey warmly greeted, she decided to ignore Alice, Rosalie and I.

Bitch.

"Hey Audrey" Irina and Kate replied at the same time. "What are you guys talking about?" Audrey asked. "Oh nothing really, just about some wedding plans, right girls?" Kate promptly answered. Audrey started discussing the dresses and plans for Kate's special day. In less than 5 minutes, Kate, Rosalie, Audrey, Rosalie and Alice were all deep in discussions whilst I sat here, fighting tooth and nail to not let Audrey sense my hatred of her. Sighing softly I thought to myself, _this is going to be harder than I thought. _

**Audrey's POV**

After two and a half hours of figuring out how everything will go on Kate's wedding, the boys decided to join our little square. Garrett sat beside Kate, Emmett sat beside Rosalie, Jasper with Alice, Laurent took his seat with Irina and that left Edward and Stefan to choose their seats. There was a part of me that hoped Edward would sit beside me not only because I kind of, sort of, **barely** liked him but because I really don't want him to sit with Tanya. I sense a weird vibe from her, I'll make sure I find out what she's up to.

Tanya purred in her head _Eddy! Why don't you come and sit with me? I have space right here! _She padded the empty space next to her. I furiously rubbed my eyes, trying to hide my eye-roll as much as possible. _Slut. _I thought to myself. Completely ignoring Tanya, Edward decided to make his way over to the empty seat beside me. I can't lie, I felt my ego go up a bit, until I heard Tanya think-yell in her head _Stefan! Go sit beside her NOW! _

Before I knew it, Stefan sat his annoying-ass beside me. Edward and I both looked at Tanya, Edward giving her a confused look and I gave her an _I'm-on-to-you_ look. Edward turned back to me and was ready to throw Stefan off of the seat, but I unshielded my mind and thought to him to not throw a tantrum and to sit beside Tanya. He stuck out his bottom lip and dropped his head, slowly making his way over to her. I couldn't help but giggle out loud at his over-dramatic gestures. _He's so cute when he sticks his lower lip out like that... _Before I was able to question myself about that thought, Stefan threw his arm around me. "Hey baby, I missed you earlier. But now I'm glad to be back at your side." Stefan spoke in a low voice into my ear. I held back a shudder of disgust and growled back at him "I am **not **your 'baby'. And I promise you if you ever call me that ever again, I will personally rip off your balls and feed them to you, understood?" He quickly nodded and I threw his arm off from me.

"So," Kate looked up at the sky and saw the sun setting. "how about we hit up downtown Alaska?" Everyone nodded and smiled. "Great! We need to go and grab our coats though, because in this weather, humans feel really cold." Kate reminded us. We all got up, grabbed our coats and decided to meet up at their garage. Once we all were at the garage Kate stood on a little stool and spoke unnecessarily loud "Okay guys, as you can see we all will not be able to fit in one car. Seeing that we have three cars, and twelve people, we can all fit comfortable into each car. I have decided to make groups of four for each car." Kate grinned widely and I rolled my eyes un-able to not smile at her leadership. "Jasper and Alice, you can go with Irina and Laurent. Rosalie and Emmett, you guys can go with Edward and Tanya which leaves Bella and Stefan to head out with Garrett and I. Are you guys okay with that?" Everyone except for Edward and I nodded and headed to our cars.

I can't believe I'm stuck with Emperor douche-bag _again. _At least I won't be alone with him right? I saw Edward making his way over to where I was standing, but once again Tanya noticed where Edward was walking and dragged him back to their car. The pleading look in his eyes while Tanya was dragging him away caused me to giggle-snort which made Edward compose his infamous crooked grin. _Oh how I love that crooked grin of his... _"Earth to Audrey, do you read?" Garrett asked, snapping his fingers all over my face. "Hm? What? Oh yeah, I'm here!" I replied to Garrett. He looked at Edward who was looking at me then noticed me taking a quick glance at Edward, he lifted one of his eyebrows up and smirked at me. I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time today and quickly made my way to the car, sitting in the back beside head douche.

I have a feeling that this is going to be a long drive.

**AN: **** So, what do you think? Edward's POV is coming up next. I was also wondering if you guys want me to start adding lyrics into the beginning of the story again. Let me know what you think. I am also in need of a beta, so if you guys want to help me out that would be awesome sause. See you guys next week! **


	12. Dazzle

**A/N****: I know, I know. It has been a week and I still haven't posted, I truly apologize for that and I hope this chapter will make it all better. See you at the bottom!**

* * *

**Previously on: The Fuckery That is Bella's Life.**  
_I can't believe I'm stuck with Emperor douche-bag again. At least I won't be alone with him right? I saw Edward making his way over to where I was standing, but once again Tanya noticed where Edward was walking and dragged him back to their car. The pleading look in his eyes while Tanya was dragging him away caused me to giggle-snort which made Edward compose his infamous crooked grin. Oh how I love that crooked grin of his... "Earth to Audrey, do you read?" Garrett asked, snapping his fingers all over my face. "Hm? What? Oh yeah, I'm here!" I replied to Garrett. He looked at Edward who was looking at me then noticed me taking a quick glance at Edward, he lifted one of his eyebrows up and smirked at me. I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time today and quickly made my way to the car, sitting in the back beside head douche._

_I have a feeling that this is going to be a long drive._

**Audrey's POV**

'_God... If you're listening, can you please do me a favour? Please, please, PLEASE smite this man beside me! I promise to behave! Heck, I'll even stop hunting humans... for an entire month! And we both know how much I love my human blood.'_ I prayed in my head. I look to my left and stare at Stefan for a good 10 seconds before sighing in sadness and laying my head on the window. If they say God listens to your prayers, why the hell is he choosing to ignore me? Is it because I stopped going to church? It's not my fault! Churches are supposed to burn me to ashes right?

"Auds, you okay back there? You look miserable!" Kate asked. _Can't you see who I'm sitting beside?_ I remarked in my head. "Yeah, I'm fine." I snapped. _Liar. _She thought back to me. Oh, so she can notice me lying but she doesn't know why? "Geez, there's no need to be so moody Audrey." Kate grumbled and turned her attention to her fiancée's hand that is in her lap.

"Ba-Audrey," Stefan saved himself "are you sure everything's alright?" Annoyed, I snarled back at him "If I just told Kate I was fine, why the hell would you ask me the same damn question again?" _Someone's getting a bit moody. _Stefan thought mistakenly. I opened my mouth, ready to make a smart remark before ripping his throat out, but to his luck, my line of sight caught Edward's in the car beside me. He pointed to his head, signalling for me to drop my mind-shield so we could talk.

'_I cannot stand being in this car with these people anymore'. _We both stated in union. As his lips started to curl into a crooked grin, I forced myself to stifle in a giggle.

'_How does he do this to me?' _I wondered.

'_How do I do what?' _He smirked.

'_How do you mind your own business?' _I quickly retorted.

He raised one, thick eyebrow at me questionly and I sighed.

'_Dazzle me.' I admitted, embarrassed._

By this time, Edward's smirk grew into a full-blown, teeth baring grin. I smiled and rolled my eyes, softly shaking my head.

'_It's good to know that I dazzle-' _Edwards thoughts were immediately cut off by Emmett slamming his hand onto Edwards window. I completely turned my body away from my window, only to have my cheek met by Stefan's hand. I blinked and gave Stefan painful punches to the stomach, chest, head and a nice hard slam to his 'family jewels'.

"AH FUCK!" Stefan yelled after receiving my final blow. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?" By this time we had just about everyone's attention, but I didn't care, he won't slap me and get away with it. I turned to him and screeched into his ear. "THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK TWICE ABOUT SLAPPING A GIRL FUCK FACE!" I got out of the car and slammed the door, forgetting about my enhanced strength and slammed the door hard enough to not only destroy the hinges but I made a huge dent on the door itself.

That's when Tanya decided to add in her two cents."Audrey relax, he was just trying to get your attention since you were too busy in lalaland with my Edward." She mumbled the last part.

That's it. This bitch is dead.

I took one step back before lunging myself towards Tanya, with my arms out, ready to rip her body pieces. Unfortunately, Emmett and Garrett got in the way and restrained me. "Alright Audrey, I think it's time for you to head home." Emmett joked. I just glared at him and shoved him and Garrett off of me and started walking. Where you ask? I don't know. I just needed to get away.

**Edward's POV**

I dazzle her.

I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, dazzled Audrey Elizabeth Boleyn.

That was the only two sentences running through my mind right after Emmett rudely interrupted my Audrey and mines mind-conversation. This led to a flashback from when my immortal vixen was a blushing mortal.

_Flashback_

"_Um" – the waitress shook her head, blinking- "your server will be right out." She walked away unsteadily._

"_You really shouldn't do that to people," Bella criticized. "It's hardly fair."_

"_Do what?"_

"_Dazzle them like that – she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."_

_He seemed confused._

"_Oh come on," She said dubiously. "You have to know the effect you have on people."_

_I tilted my head to one side, curiosity clear in my eyes."I dazzle people?"_

"_You haven't noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"_

_I ignored her question. "Do I dazzle you?"_

"_Frequently" She admitted._

_End of flashback_

A dull punch to my shoulder is what awoken me from my daydream. "Edward? Were you even listening to a word I said?" Tanya nagged? _I really could care less about what you have to say Tanya._ I mentioned in my head. Instead, I nodded my head and pried off her fingers from my side.

'_You okay in there?' _Jasper asked _'I am sensing a lot of emotions from you.' _I slowly tilted my head up and down once before turning my attention to Audrey's infuriated screech. "THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK TWICE ABOUT SLAPPING A GIRL FUCK FACE!"

Wait, did Stefan just slap Audrey in the face?

He's a dead man walking.

I'm assuming Tanya somehow sensed my anger and quickly stated in obviously false concern. "Relax Audrey, he was just trying to get your attention since you were too busy in lalaland with my Edward." She mumbled the last part.

Since when was I her Edward?

My brain was cluttered with shocked and confused thought from the others. I chose to ignore them as much as possible but to my luck, it only got louder. The next move Audrey made was something I felt like doing to Stefan for awhile now. She lunged her body towards Tanya, clearly ready to end her existence. Tanya immediately ran behind me as Garrett and Emmett stood in front of Audrey, restraining her from murdering Tanya to the best of their abilities.

Emmett decided to take this opportunity to make a joke but Audrey just shrugged it off, walking away.

After a long period of awkward silence between us, Stefan took the liberty by breaking the ice. "Don't worry guys, she'll be back later."

And that is when I snapped.

"Coming from the idiot who slapped her! Why the hell would you slap her? Who in their right fucking mind slaps a girl?" I speedily made my way over him and grabbed him by the collar. "I don't know what the hell you're doing here, but you need to do yourself a favour and leave before something _very bad_ happens to you." I snarled in a low voice. Realising his collar, I turned to Tanya, pointing my finger at her. "And you! Since when did I belong to you? Tanya, I don't know how many times to tell you this but I **do not** have any interest in you what's so ever!" Unfortunately, my anger got the best of me and I was unable to think up of anything else to say, so I concluded my rant. "So if you all will excuse me, I am going to hunt."

I know I should probably go look for Audrey, but I believe she and I need some alone time for a while. And with that, I sped-walked to the nearest building and went to the back, climbing to the top before jumping roof-to-roof until I reached the nearest forest.

* * *

**AN: ****So, what do you think? The flashback was actually from the book, but I just changed the POV from Bella's to Edward's. I was also wondering if you guys want me to start adding lyrics into the beginning of the story again. Let me know what you think. I am also in ****dire need of a beta,**** so if you guys want to help me out that would be perfect! Oh and one last thing, please leave reviews. I think we all enjoy that feeling we get when someone leaves us a review, so return the favour by reviewing! Happy holidays!**


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